Alternate Lives

I recorded all the Bob Newhart shows (which doesn't include his last anemic one where he played the cartoonist), and now that's about the only TV I watch, aside from SNL. Nothing more therapeutic for my soul than the opening to Newhart, the theme music, the Vermont scene driving down the country road to the inn; it's where I want to be. If I could jump into the screen and live that life, I would. Sweet, gentle, off-beat and hysterical, a perfect refuge from the otherwise shark tank of a world we live in. Also love the idea of a writer as
innkeeper, even if Bob is just a writer of how-to home improvement books. In my sitcom, I'd be a literary fiction writer and dog-breeder, but it would be in a bucolic setting. As I was watching Newhart the other day it struck me that the art, (and I will categorize Newhart as that - it just happens to be a television art form), we love the most is what we can identify with the closest. That's why Catcher in the Rye has such a broad appeal, everyone experienced the trials and tribulations of adolescence. So Newhart becomes for me, a version of my own life, a man of letters (to a certain extent) engaged in his own business surrounded by a cast of eccentric characters, who view in turn view his "normalcy" as "different". Then I thought of my favorite work of fiction, the namesake of my dog, The World According to Garp. Since reading the book (and later re-reading it), I have always been taken with the idea of the fiction writer living in suburbia, fiercely protective of his neighborhood and living among eccentrics. Again, a setting I can relate to, although I am far from being a literary novelist, but another idealized version of my type of world, one where my soul will always be.

Bedtime Adventures

I go to bed with my iPad every night, and often make it a threesome with my iPod Touch. Can't make it through the night without at least one of them. Like the iPad for browsing and reading, have practically cut out all TV watching despite getting 500 or so channels recording my faves on my TIVO.  Have got a backlog of Bob Newhart shows (both series), Mary Tyler Moore, Murphy Brown, not to mention Entourage and SNL which I always watch. (Only way to watch SNL is to record it so you can skip the ads, much of the music and all the lame skits. That said, the present cast is my favorite since the great year they had Billy Crystal and Martin Short and the Mike Meyers era). Then there's the Book Channel with plenty of great content and the NFL. Have practically cut out movies, cannot stay awake to watch one in its entirety, even my favorites from the 70's. But my iPad beats them all in bed, especially considering that I often fall asleep before 9pm and wake up two or three times during the night. Despite the fact that I'm on the computer most of the day, I rarely surf, just use it for work. The iPad gives me a chance to (comfortably) check out sites I might otherwise miss. For example, I've been checking out Joyce Maynard's site these days, unable to shake the idea of taking her summer writing workshop which seems like a week of heaven. Read a couple of blogs (including The Rent Collector) and that led me to the wonderful CBC literary site where I spent some more time and stumbled upon the accomplished writer, Stephen Henighan, a blast from my past. Years ago, I took an amazing writing workshop with him at Concordia and it brought back many fond memories, like the launching of his first book, Other Americas. I see he went on to do a Phd, write a bunch of books, travel more and is now a prof at Guelph. Ended up reconnecting with him by e-mails. The point is, the iPad can take me on a little adventure every night in bed, get me back to sleep when I wake up at 3am in a cold sweat or read without waking up my wife. Time to get back to sleep now...it's 4.49am, and hoping that a few pages of Franzen (who was actually a college classmate of Stephen Henighan) will do the trick...

My Platform

Want to form new party and run for office on the following platform. Bans on:

Newspaper comics except Dilbert
Network TV, the one state channel will only air Bob Newhart shows
Little farts on iPhones
Big farts on iPhones
Regular season professional sports except for NFL and curling
Mystery novels
Those stupid fashion fedoras
Wine tasting courses
Old people's toenails
Crossword puzzles
Drew Barrymore movies
Anything Kardashian
Snow, except on ski hills
Avocados
Eggplant
Shitzus, poodles and ferrets
Kids' animated shows and movies (except ones I've written for)
Kids' candy and themed restaurants
Rabbis with pimples
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