Catch the Kotel Fever

First chance to hit the keyboard since shabbos rolled in. Spent perhaps the most spiritually uplifting day of my life Friday night at the Kotel (Western Wall). But before we get there and keeping in line with my Juxtaposin' Jerusalem theme, we stumbled into a little situation while taking the short cut through the Arab market. my wife, who has an annoying habit of asking for directions every 20 paces,along with a distrust for official direction signs, asks some young Arab shop-keeper which way to the Kotel. The wild-ass of a putz has a fit and starts yelling in his thick Arabic accent: I'm not your guide. You're not paying me to be a guide...on and on. I ignore him and walk on, following the other people obviously going to the Kotel, but my wife engages and starts answering him back, something to the extent of , I'm just asking for directions. Just keep on walking, I tell her, and fortunately we get out of there before the dickhead gets even more excited. Mental note: Avoid engaging with locals in Arab market on Jewish holy days.

So we make it safely to the Kotel and meet up with the rest of the family and it's a real scene there, as the people pour in and the energy level builds up towards a shabbos crescendo. My brother and I weasel our way into an evening service comprised and led of young Israeli soldiers. The spirit and unity among them was beyond description. I was thinking: they look invincible, this display would strike terror into the hearts of their enemies, it's apparent that they are guided by a higher force, a modern day embodiment of the Ark of the Covenant. You always see photos and clips in the press trying to depict Israeli soldiers as war-mongers, but if you see how they behave in Israel, nothing could be farther from the truth. Discrete, polite, accommodating and respectful of all. Can't help thinking it's something that us diaspora Jews missed out on...

Finally, from the make-a-wish department: Did a little praying that night at the Kotel for the success of a new venture that I'm presently engaged in, that is just kicking off. Turn on my Blackberry after shabbos, and see that a very important and promising e-mail concerning this project was sent just a little after my return from the Kotel. Mere coincidence? I hope not...

Juxtaposing in Jerusalem

Spent the past couple days exploring the sites in Jerusalem, which is again, a case of sensory overload. Did the walk-through the city wall, peaking out from where archers once stood, marching up and down steep stairs zigging and zagging around the old city. More juxtapositions: schools literally coming out of these ancient walls. Watching kids at recess playing handball, the ball bounces high over the fence onto a roof extending from the city wall. One kid actually climbs what must have been a 12 foot speared-fence to get the ball -- you'd think there might be teacher or guardian there. And this wasn't a rag-tag school, they wore uniforms and situated in some pretty prime real estate for what I assume was a religious school. Walked through the Arab market which turned out to be a very pleasant experience, the smell of cumin will forever be etched upon my olfactory memory. On Thursday had my nephew's bar mitzvah at the Kotel (Western Wall), so much going on there, you sit there shell-shocked. It's like there's this bar mitzvah industry happening there, we must've witnessed no less than 20 other ones from a myriad of different cultures: Ethiopian, Yemenite, Central Asian, Russian, Moroccan, French, Hasidic, a microcosm of the modern Jewish nation.  Each culture with their own twist, but most singing the same songs. Trying to evade the sun under the weenie umbrella over our bimah, (basically the stand where lead the prayers from and read from the Torah). Dehydration city. Trying to keep an eye on my son who was busy running around collecting the tossed candies from different bar mitzvahs. Lost sight of him at one point, panic crept in. Felt like an exotic for the first time in my life as non-Jewish tourists filmed me in my religious garb participating in the service. A seemingly regular type of guy suspiciously wanders about with a rifle slung around his back. He is wearing no type of identifying official clothing, just a sweaty guy with a scowl and a yarmulke. Meanwhile I'm the only one who seems to notice. The soldiers scattered about certainly don't seem to pay attention. After the ceremony which included a little horah and some off-key singing, we climbed up more steep and twisting stairs to a restaurant overlooking the wall and shared another festive meal. But don't get me on the food here, I can barely fit into my clothes and am too self conscious to even pose for pics. (On top of that I broke a tooth last night while flossing, a harsh reminder of the realities I must face when I get back home)...With that I will sign off and try to get a little bit more of the sleep which has been eluding me here...

War and Peace

Strange place this Jerusalem. So much of everything going on, sensory perception overload. Bought some t-shirts that smell like cumin. Bought from a t-shirt seller in the souk where you can buy by colour and by scent. And since his t-shirt place was kosher he didn't mix the meat-smelling stock with the cheese-ones...On the way in to Jerusalem, we stopped off at this tank museum which was pretty cool in itself. I've never seen a tank close up and didn't have a clue that there were so many different models. But the really interesting part was that there was an arms show going on and I'm not talking little firearms. How about weapons like missiles, drones and the latest in tanks. Surprised that they let the museum-goers wander around and even take pictures. I watched the company reps talking with buyers and wondered where they came from, their personal histories and how one ends up as a merchant of war attending a show in the city of peace. Plenty of novels to mine there...Shalom...

Zohan for Advanced Practitioners

If you grew up in a Hebrew day school, then you can fully appreciate a trip to Israel. I'm not referring to all the stuff you vowed to forget as soon as you graduated. What a grind, half a day of Hebrew till you finish high school. When I write that the Hebrew education enhances the Israel experience,I mean all the laughs you get out of it.
You can make up all sorts of ridiculous phrases into Hebrew from English by making literal translations. For example, when my brother went for a massage, I asked him if he took a sof sumai'uch but you have to know Hebrew to get the joke. Then you get into the whole Zohan routine for advanced practitioners, you get to identify the Zohan characters like Tzipi Buttcrack and Moti Sandalsox. One long in-joke that almost makes 12 years of Jewish day school seem worthwhile...

Sunday Driving

It's amazing where a little Sunday drive can take you in Israel. Left Tel Aviv a little after 10 AM and managed to get in a little pilgrimage, a drive through the Galilee, a two hour shopping and eating jaunt in Safed, another pilgrimage to Rosh Pina, a village founded by a branch of my family, the original house from pre-1900 is still standing...more or less and now at silent organic spa.

Some funny things along the way:

Juxtaposition of ultra religious Hasidic couple in Safed taking a break from the sun in front of an abstract nude sculpture of a woman.

Hasidic comes running down serpentine lane in old city asking around for Knafo. I knew immediately that that person, Knafo, was the brother of my late friend, Dave Knafo, who actually set up that brother in business there. The Knafo in Safed owns a beautiful art gallery. Then I haphazardly bump into Knafo walking down the street, he vaguely recognized me and I recognized him only because there were 13 Kanfo siblings and most look alike. Spent some time in his gallery, but didn't buy anything (although I loved his artists).

Checking into the rustic spa, we stop at the check in (in our mini-bus). A cat is lounging under a tree next to us, then we see a mouse pop out in front. The cat however, seems too lazy to catch the mouse and the mouse too lazy to run away. The mouse gets a little too close to the cat, which then swats it with a paw. They get into a lazy Tom and Jerry chase, but ultimately the cat catches the mouse and eats it. Probably the most wildlife you'll see in Israel...

Vacation Readings

Since it's basically been a kosher Club Med type of vacation until now with all the holiday and shabat time, I've been working in some reading by the pool. Regret to say that the Franzen naysayers might be right, or else I've been too influenced by their critiques, but finding  the book a little tiresome half-way through it. Agree that the prose is a bit flat and it seems that my interest waned after finishing the first (?) Patty autobiographical chunk. (Ever since Garp, I've been a sucker for the book-within-a-book thing). Also, the characters are beginning to bore me, never cared much for self-righteous lefties and the Richard Katz, swarthy / edgy Lothario character wears thin. (Also reminds me of the Nathan character in Sophie's Choice, although it's been ages since I read that book).

On the brighter side of reading by the pool, I'm getting some mileage from my Kindle and must say that it is ideal for this. Before I'd schlep along a bunch of books, because you need back up. With the Kindle that's no problem, load it up with as much as you want, especially those free samples. So I got to check out Howard Jacobson, The Finkler Question,and loved it... right up my alley. Vow to read more of him.

I had also downloaded some of the complete works of Flavius Josephus. Remembered learning about him back in elementary school, how he was a man of the world, an integrated Jew who traveled in the highest circles and essentially chronicled the history of the Jews until his time (about 2000 years ago). What amazes me about this monumental historical work is the great efforts he made to be objective, to set the record straight. Until Fla-Jo, it seems like history was written subjectively, each people fancifully writing their own history, which read more like mythology than anything else. Fla-Jo brings in third party accounts to back up his historical assertions. In any case, fascinating stuff that I would never have read had I not had my Kindle. Loving my technology...

R&R Ba'Aretz

Tel Aviv has been more like a kosher Club Med; I have yet to leave the hotel compound. Of course it's been chag and shabat since we arrived, (except for the second night where my wife made a quick sortie to pick up a few pieces of clothes to tide us through till baggage arrived...Which it finally did, Thursday night). But the weather has been magnificent, never a cloud, sun, sun and more sun. The ocean is warm and it seems to have loosened up my aching back. And the food - feel like all I've been doing is feasting. It's been good to get my mind off things at home, my brain was starting to hurt.