He studied the odd name -- Gomez plus Glickman equaled what? This had to be a guy with a story.
Indeed.
Gomez Glickman was born enigmatic, treasured, yet resented by his mother for:
- His late arrival in her life. Millie Glickman was forty-four years and seven months when she gave birth to Gomez.
- Stretching her innards with his huge egghead to the point where only a custom-made girdle could keep her distended floppy lips from tumbling out of her undergarments.
Gomez Glickman:
Named after the Dominican fish-monger who delivered him in his store between the octopi and the smelts.
Gomez Glickman:
A mistake, an epilogue to a brood of four fussing older sisters and a pallid sixty-nine year old father who, in order to provide for his little prince, was forced to delay his dreams of retirement until never.
Yes, Gomez Glickman was born to be confused.
Harry dialed the phone number.
"Hello Gomez, it's Harry Starr calling. We met at that wedding in Montreal..."
"Yes, Harry, of course. So when are you coming down to L.A.?"
"That's actually why I'm calling you. I finished my spec script, tying up some loose ends and plan on driving down the end of the month."
"Cool. Do you have a place to stay?"
"Not yet. Do you have any leads?"
"In fact, I do. This girl, Wendy, who I was seeing for a while..."
Harry held back a guffaw while slicing and dicing Gomez. Yeah right, like Gomez was seeing some girl...any girl...In his dreams, man. In his dreams.
Harry had his number; Gomez was a Mr. Platonic, the type of guy who goes around befriending almost-cute girls and try to pass them off as ex-girlfriends. The reality of his unfulfilled gay existence too painful to confront. No doubt the reason Gomez moved to L.A., to reinvent himself, to rewrite his history.
"...is renting out rooms in this big house she's got in Santa Monica. Before her father got arrested for fraud and tax evasion, he put the house in her name and she's renting out rooms because the IRS froze all of her dad's assets..."
And like all the Mr. Platonics he knew, always full of crazy stories.
"...Wendy works as a lousy paid production assistant on Sheza the Amazon Warrior -- whose tits are real by the way..."
And a friend-of-a-friend connection to fame.
"...Anyhow I could speak to her..."
A nice guy who will always go out of his way to do a favor. Knows many people, an invaluable friend in a new city.
"...I think she's charging like $400 a month and you don't have to sign a lease..."
And deals, knows where to get the best deals in town on anything. Born with the innate skill of a purchasing agent, but with the character of a Barbra Streisand.
"...And the house is in a real cool area, a couple blocks from Montana..."
Of course, a Mr. Platonic always hangs out where the beautiful people go.
"Sounds great, Mi-- err...Gomez. Can you speak to her?"
"Sure, we're going out for dinner tonight. Call me back tomorrow. Just a word of warning. She's got six dogs and three cats, not to mention four other boarders, so you gotta be able to handle that. It can get a little messy and chaotic there at times."
Caveat emptor, the underbelly of the deal.
"That's okay. I grew up with dogs and a big noisy family..."
But it was more like an "okay until I can find something better," or an "okay as long as the place doesn't smell like the SPCA."
"So how's your pilot, Leftovers, going?
"Aw you know, development hell, especially when you're dealing with washed-up stars. Duane Day dropped forty pounds since his Feldman days and he's just not funny if he ain't fat. Face it, the guy's just butt ugly. Meanwhile he dumped Cindy Saffron for some amateur porn star. So now Miss Saffron, who hasn't worked in ten years if you don't count dinner theaters, wants to quit. Meanwhile Sonny Pinto's trying to get the movie made of Mr. Nanny, and will drop this project if that ever happens. At least Wenzday Wilson's still hysterical, even if he hates my guts because I asked him to pay me back the fifty bucks I lent him. I mean fifty bucks is fifty bucks, it's not like I've got this series in production where I'm taking home a hundred grand an episode. I only made twenty grand so far off this pilot and who knows when the next pay check will come. Meanwhile I may have to take a job in telemarketing. But aside from that, everything is great."
Harry was too busy cracking up. This Gomez guy was hysterical. They'd be good friends. Even if he was full of shit.
"Yeah...So I'll call you back tomorrow, Gomez. Thanks."
"Oh fuck, I just felt a tremor...Gotta go..."
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