Alone in the office, Harry picked up the black rotary phone and dialed Lee's number...most of it and then hung up. How could he explain this mess? Would it be better to call Nigel instead? Who teaches you how to handle these things in school? Just call, he thought, there was nothing else to do. This time Harry dialed the entire number. Lee picked up after one ring.
"Lee?"
"Harry?"
"Yeah, it's me, Harry."
"You okay?"
Harry's heart pounded. His voice quivered. "Ahhhh, I have a little situation..."
"Keep on going..."
"That will take me a few days to sort out."
"Fucking Mr. Cryptic. What's going on that you need to call while I'm about to have a wet dream with Pamela Anderson? She just flung off her panties."
"Will explain later. It's just that I'm not sure how much I'll be able to help on scripting this week..."
"You won't, the show got cancelled yesterday. The sponsors pulled out, the ratings sucked, yadda yadda yadda. Now can I get back to Pamela Anderson and her pussy."
Lee dropped the phone on his raging boner. "Shiiiit! Fucking Harry!" he cried before slamming down the phone.
The show cancelled? The job that never was. Couldn't be. What about the meeting-with-destiny crap? Can't be. Denial, denial. Regrets, regrets. This was the big break. Call again? I know it's past three in the morning, but Lee was such a prick. This is real. Harry's heart throbbed wildly, it felt like it was stuck in his throat. Harry slumped into the cushionless couch piled with junk in the corner of the office. A mouse jumped out from the pile as if it was shot from a tiny canon and scooted across the room. Surreal. Harry studied a small poster tacked to the wall: The Rambam's Thirteen Principles of Faith:
1.The existence of G-d.
2.G-d's unity.
3.G-d's spirituality and incorporeality
4.G-d's eternity
5.G-d alone should be the object of worship
6.Revelation through G-d's prophets
7.The preeminence of Moses among the prophets
8.G-d's law was given on Mount Sinai
9.The immutability of the Torah as G-d's law
10.G-d's foreknowledge of human actions
11,Reward of the good and retribution of the evil
12.The coming of the Jewish Messiah
13.The resurrection of the dead.
Harry fumed. What was the good of all of it all if God wasn't working for you? If you were the butt of a cosmic joke? The Charlie Brown of a God-produced sitcom where he never wins a game. There for laughs. Heaven's new hit sitcom is Starring Harry, and it looks like it has legs, this theatre of the absurd. Great entertainment if it's not your life.
Harry grabbed a chewed up Bic pen from Rabbi Moish's desk and started writing on the poster:
14. Life is a joke. Ha ha ha.
But it wasn't enough to placate his rage. Passion. Maybe that was it? More passion, rage on until the dying light. Harry ripped the poster off the wall and slam-dunked it into the garbage can. Didn't Moses do the same to the first set of the ten commandments?
Of course Moses didn't take a leak on the broken stone shards like Harry did on the poster in the garbage can. The aftermath of passion was terrifying.
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