Meanwhile...V2

Meanwhile...

Bunny and Enzo Marano were parked in front of Rabbi Moish's community center and pigging out on a late take-out dinner of Chinese food.

Bunny dipped an egg roll in plum sauce and said. "Do not say --" 

"I told you so, Bunny..."

A few drops of plum sauce dripped on Bunny's hand. "It's not like we've done something like this before."

"You're dripping plum sauce, Bunny...It's too late for excuses, we accepted this job. It's like a P.O., either you agree to the conditions, or you don't ship the order."

Bunny licked the dripping plum sauce off his hand. "This was supposed to be a clean whack in L.A. Nobody said nothing about going on the road."

"Did you ever hear of a napkin?"

Bunny groaned and searched for napkins in the glove compartment.

"Here," Enzo said, handing Bunny a packaged wet towelette from his breast pocket. "It's simple. If Wendy won't pay us a per diem for traveling expenses, the contract is off." He pointed to Bunny's chin. "You missed a spot."

Bunny sighed while struggling to open up the wet towelette pack with his teeth."Some adventure," he mumbled. "Real life is such a put-on, nothing at all like you see on TV or in the movies." He opened the towelette pack and spit out the torn off piece of packaging.

"That's disgusting! All you had to do was tear along the perforation..."

Bunny rolled his eyes and sighed.

"They make out like it's so cool to be a hit man, " Enzo continued. "Dress in black, act ironic like John Cusak..."

"...or play the cultured European gentleman like Max Von Sidow in Three Days of the Condor," Bunny said, wiping off his hand with the wet towelette. "It looked like he had it good."

"A dignified man in a well-paying profession," Enzo said.

"You don't see hitmen chasing customers for money. They get paid or else." Bunny wiped off his mouth with the wet towelette.  He grimaced from the antiseptic taste.

"Meanwhile, here we are getting screwed for road expenses on our first job."

Bunny rolled up the wet towelette into a ball and tossed it on the floor of the car."Fucking Wendy, man! If it wasn't for her father, she'd be our first hit."

"Fucking pick up your garbage, asshole! I try to keep my car clean."

Bunny huffed and bent down to pick up the spent towelette.

"You just spilled more plum sauce on your pants, Bunny. You're such a slob. Make sure you don't get any on my seats."

"Shiiit..." Bunny groaned.

Enzo handed Bunny another wet towelette pack. "We should limit this new venture to the fashion business. I'd whack those kind of assholes just for the sport."

Bunny opened the pack cleanly along the perforation. "I'd grind them up in the new meat- grinder I bought on sale at Costco last week." He plucked out the towelette from the packaging and carefully stuffed it in the ashtray.

Enzo pointed to the ashtray with disgust. "Not in the ash tray, it will make it sticky. Throw out the garbage in the take-out bag on the floor of the backseat."

Bunny rolled his eyes, picked out the discrded packaging from the ashtray and slam-dunked into the take-out bag. "There. You happy?"

"Not as happy as I'd be to use your new meat-grinder on that prick, Prosper. The fucker took us for over 200K. Meanwhile I hear he just threw his daughter a 250K wedding. That's our fucking money. If he didn't screw us, we'd still be in business today making belts..."

"Belts. Stupid fucken pieces of leather that hold up your pants. Who gives a shit? I wanted to get out of the belt business from the day we opened up shop. Dreamed of being an actor...Can you pass the General Tao's chicken please?"

Enzo passed Bunny the carton of General Tao's chicken. "Meanwhile I didn't hear you complaining all those years when we were making money...Who the fuck was General Tao anyways?"

"I dunno, the fucking Colonel Sanders of China? Fucking Chinese, man. First it's the chicken, then they're putting manufacturers like us out of business. How can we compete with their labor costs? Twenty-one years in the belt business down the toilet!" Bunny opened his switchblade, stabbed a piece of General Tao's chicken and gobbled it off the glistening blade.

Enzo looked on in disgust. "You don't chew, do you? No wonder you fart like a cow on beans."

"Stop fucking criticizing me or I'll rip one right now..."

Enzo winced in horror.

"Instead of giving me grief for my eating habits,  channel your anger on Wal-Mart. For every schlepper out there saving a buck on useless crap, there's an American out of work because their factory shut down."

"Fucking new economy. It's only good for billionaires and the factory owners in China...Can you pass the stir-fried veggies?"

"And what about the Chapter 11 guys here, like that Prosper piece of shit? That douche bag still drives around in a Porsche." Enzo poked his chopsticks expertly into the carton of stir-fried veggies and snapped up a mouthful.

"We should blow up the Porsche with him in it. What are we doing wasting our time chasing these two pathetic schmucks? Hmmmph...A writer and a faggot. We should be out there killing assholes like Prosper, the guys who put us out of business."

"Beats this contract! A lousy two grand a piece and no per diem!  I'd rather go back into the belt business...Care for some veggies?"

Bunny shook his head. "You never eat veggies, Bunny? If it's not a carb or meat, you won't eat it."

"You know I can't digest veggies, Enzo. Gives me too much gas."

"Everything gives you gas. No sliming me this time with the windows closed. Why the fuck did we ever leave L.A.? What were we thinking?"

"I'm thinking about the spicy beef. Can you pass me some?"

Enzo passed the carton of spicy beef to Bunny. "Here...Here's what I'm thinking. We made a classic rookie mistake. Got to eager to break our cherries. But now that I've come all the way out here, I really want to kill someone...Pass the soy sauce, please."

"I just want our first whack to be...meaningful...Pass me another egg roll, please."

"Good point, Bunny. It's never just been about the money."

"Of course, bro. It's all about the passion."

"Tell me about it, Mr. Tony-fucking-Robbins. Meanwhile, I'm the one who's always been saying,  'Follow your bliss.'"

"Whatever bliss there once was vanished when the department stores started buying direct from China. "

"Agree. Killed the little guys like us...Pass the chicken, please."

"Meanwhile this is a much better business, unlimited opportunity. Everybody wants to kill somebody sometimes," Bunny sang. "We should offer volume discounts on whacks of three or more..."

"Like a special of the week! Like mother-in-laws!...It's all in the marketing. But I still say we should specialize in the fashion business.  Wall-to-wall schmucks. Once the word gets out, we'll make a killing."

"Meanwhile we're here on a job."

"And I didn't come out all the way here for nothing."