Prupas and the Tree

Harry in Doudou's office:

"So we don't exactly have a writing staff," Doudou said in his thick Israeli accent while fidgeting with a rubber band. "We use a few writers, try out otherss. You know Prupas the Dufus, nu?"

Harry nodded, he knew of the puerile show, but had never watched an episode.

"It's a high-concept show," Doudou continued. He accidentally snapped the rubber band, stinging him on his fist. "Ku-semmoh!" which seemed to be some kind of basterdized foreign cuss word.

A high-concept show indeed. About a seven year old kid who has a small apple tree sprouting out of his head. Shookie bought the idea and prototype drawing for two hundred and fifty bucks off a hard-up graphic designer back in the days when he was selling T-shirts on the Wildwood, New Jersey boardwalk. He hot-stamped that image on a lot of irregular sized T-shirts which immediately flew off the shelves. By the end of that summer half of the stock in his store were T-shirts with variations of the original design. By fall, Shookie took the concept wholesale and started selling it to all the retailers. By Christmas, it was the hottest T-shirt on the market. By spring, Shookie Cohen made his first million. He eventually trademarked and developed the image into a character and named him, Prupas the Dufus, the seven year old boy with a tree growing out of his head who unwitting causes mayhem wherever he goes.

Doudou picked up a paper clip and proceeded to unbend it. "We've done three seasons of this, that's 198 seven minute episodes, it's getting boring. How many stories can you make about a stupid kid with a tree growing out of head? So now we go back to the beginning. How did Prupas get the tree growing out of his head?"

" ." Was he expecting Harry to answer on the spot?

"Nu?"

"Am I supposed to pitch you an idea right now? Without a contract or assignment?"

"Mr. Details. You want a contract?" Doudou reached into his draw, pulled out a contract, filled out a few lines and signed it. "Sign this document, now pitch."

"How did Prupas get the apple tree growing out of his head? How did that happen?" Harry asked.

"You tell me Mr. Contract, you're the writer."

And like manna from heaven an idea descended from the heavens onto Harry's quivering lips.

"Here's how it happened: It's a beautiful crisp autumn day--"

"How can a day be crisp? A cracker is crisp, a day is sunny."

"Okay, it's a sunny autumn day--"

"Not cloudy?"

"A few clouds. Makes a better background--"

"This is what I mean..."

"The Prupas family--"

"Prupas is the kid's first name. Shookie named him after his dentist...the goniff who charged him $600 for a root canal. Look who's laughing now!"

"Okay, so what's the name of Prupas family?"

"This is a cartoon, who says they need a family name. No family name."

Harry took a deep breath and exhaled. His heart was pumping so fast that he felt his ear drums vibrating.

"Prupas and his family go apple-picking on an autumn day that is sunny with a few clouds--"

"Now this sounds like a good story..."

"The whole family, Prupas, his parents and siblings--"

"You mean brother and sister?"

"Yes-- brother and sister too. The whole family is picking apples from a tree. Except Prupas, who's crunching on a juicy apple while the others pick away..."

"You don't crunch on an apple, you eat one..."

"Okay, Prupas is eating an apple while watching the rest of his family pick away. Prupas notices a very clever looking woodpecker watching the family, hoping to get a piece of apple--"

"Then why doesn't he just fly to the tree and grab one?"

"...Ahhh...because this is a special golden apple, the only one--"

"...that Prupas is eating!"

"You got it, Doudou! So Prupas bites out a chunk out of that golden apple and offers it to the woodpecker  who flies over and eats a piece out of Prupas's hand. This makes Prupas feel really cool, so now he bites out another chunk of apple and--"

"...puts it on his head!"

"Exactly Doudou, you are reading my mind--"

"No, I have good ideas. I am a creative man. All of Tel Aviv still talks about my chopped liver statues!"

"Uhh..yeah, I'm sure...So Prupas wants the woodpecker to eat it off his head. Why?"

"Because this Prupas is a dufus!"

Like you, Doudou, like you.

"Exactly! The audience notices that there are a few seeds in the apple chunk that Prupas has placed on top of his head. The woodpecker, now perched on Prupas's head, takes the apple chunk and starts eating it but has a coughing fit when he tries to swallow the seeds. When the woodpecker coughs up the seeds he uncontrollably pecks a little hole in Prupas's head. The kid starts crying, points to his head, then his mother puts a band-aid over the wound and from there the seed grows into a tree in cartoon time of course."

"I love it, stupid enough to work! Write me an outline of it for tomorrow and I'll give you a contract to write the episode."

"I thought I just signed one?"

"You should read what you sign. That was a waver to protect me from you stealing my ideas. I get a 'story by' credit on this."