The Oracle from Yech

"What does that mean?" Harry asked Regine since he obviously didn't understand Arabic.

"Gohta says that she sees you surrounded by words."

"Any good lines that I use in a script?" Harry joked while fiddling with his crotch.

Gohta laughed which sounded more like a big yech. Everything she said in her guttural Arabic sounded like a string of yechs, as if a pack of soda crackers were caught in her throat.

"Yech yech yech yech," Ghota spoke.

"I think she's trying to clear her throat," Harry said.

Regine bit her lower lip.

"What'd she say, what'd she say?" Harry asked.

"That you wear your pants too tight."

A good reason to go to the bathroom. Since Harry had been living in L.A., he'd been following the advice of cousin Joey Prager with the smoldering look. "Wear your dick straight down. To left is for schvartes and to the right is for queers. You'll score better with your dick down."

Maybe, although Harry had not experienced any apparent spike in his love life. Just Wendy and she was more of an aberration than a notch on the bedpost. Cousin Joey was full of shit, Harry had enough of wearing his dick down. He went to the bathroom to readjust it to the left. Relief.

A good time to reflect. Possibly the last hours of his life and here he was fiddling with his dick. How apropos, he thought. A real man thing. No visions, no regrets, just Harry alone with his dick in deep contemplation. Maybe that's all there is. A man and his dick.

After the appendage adjustment, Harry left the bathroom and almost bumped into Regine, who was carrying a portable hibachi barbecue from the kitchen to the living room.

"She's going to do the evil eye ritual," Gomez whispered to Harry.  "When it's over you'll feel renewed...That, or you'll want to jump off a cliff."

Gohta threw a few pieces of charcoal on the hibachi and lit them up.

"Isn't this against the fire code?" Harry whispered to Gomez.

"I think there's an exemption for black magic," Gomez whispered back.

When the coals were lit, Gohta chanted, "Yech yech yech, yech yech yech."

Regine handed her a small chunk of something that looked like clear glycerin soap. Ghota threw the chunk on the hot coals, then some herbs and the eye of a toad - (according to Harry's enhanced version) - and chanted more, "Yech, yech, yech..."

The chunk slowly melted, then bubbled.  Ghota took a shish kabob skewer and pierced the three bubbles that formed. She yeched something to Regine.

"My aunt says that you had three evil eyes on you. Some people are very jealous of your close relationships." Regine told Gomez.  

"It's true," Gomez whispered to Harry. "My three sisters never accepted that I'm my mother's favorite."

"Yech yech yech," Ghota proclaimed.

"But now the evil eye has vanished," Regine translated.

"Phew," said Gomez, who really believed it.

Phew? A grown man saying, 'Phew,' Harry thought. How gay.

Ghota pointed to Harry and yeched. "Your turn, Harry," Regine said. Ghota cracked up and yeched some more. "She says you remind her of a chicken plucker from the Fez souk. His father slit his throat throat for making passionate love to a goat."

"I guess they were strictly a sheep family." Harry said.

No one laughed.

Ghota sighed in longing. For a few seconds was transported back yore to the enchanting memories of Fez.

But back to business; Ghota repeated the evil eye mumbo jumbo on Harry. She threw the clear chunk on the coals and sprinkled it with some herbs. "No newts' tongues?" Harry joked. No one thought he was funny, including himself. He didn't like the looks of the ping pong-sized bubble emanating from the melting chunk. She pointed to Harry, yeched a few words and passed him the skewer and motioned to him to pierce the bubble.

Harry instinctively resisted Ghota's overture; he hated superstition. Gomez was watching intently, stroking his rabbit's foot. "C'mon, Harry. She wants you to pierce it."

"Pierce it, pierce it," Gomez and Regine chanted as if they were seven year olds again.

Ghota yeched to Harry. "Ghota says that there is a big evil eye on you, that there is danger from within. Go ahead, pierce the eye, confront the evil..." Regine said.

A scene from Rosemary's Baby flashed through Harry's head.

Partake in the insane. Heed the irrational. Be human. All eyes were upon Harry as he reluctantly accepted his task. When in Rome...Harry took the skewer scimitar from Ghota and as he was about to pierce the bubble, it burst spontaneously.

Ghota covered her mouth with her hands and muttered another yechism. Before Regine could explain, Harry said, "Let me guess-- it's got something to do with a curse."

Gohta chuckled. Regine said, "She says you're fucked, Harry, so go out and have a good time."

Something he intended to do anyhow.