- The beard-tug when in deep reflection.
- The forehead sweat-mop when pressured.
- The in-between-nostril tap with his index finger when nervous.
- And the cheek rub 'n scratch, a tic so popular that it migrated down to Lee's butt cheeks as well.
"If we don't do something fast, they'll pull the plug. We need to move on this Leftovers idea," Harry said while caressing his eyebrow. He had this habit of matching Lee facial gesture to facial gesture, Harry's indirect way of demonstrating how distracting facial play could be, but Lee never got the message.
"We could try out a couple of the Leftovers right away. We're not committed to Jimmy's dad and Doc...Doc, grew up jerking off to Betty Boop." Lee poked his cheek with his index finger.
"Let's bring in Gomez," Harry said while fingering the cleft in his chin, his favorite gesture. He had a great chin, strong and square, not one that you had to hide behind a beard like Lee did. What Lee would've given to own Harry's chin. "He's got Leftovers and he's hysterical."
Lee pulled an inside nostril scratch; how Harry hated that move. He shuddered when he thought of the snotty scrapings collection inside the nail of Lee's index finger. Mental note oft revisited: Never shake hands with Lee. "We introduce the Leftovers simply as neighborhood characters, like they did with the three brothers on Newhart."
Lee pulled an inside nostril scratch; how Harry hated that move. He shuddered when he thought of the snotty scrapings collection inside the nail of Lee's index finger. Mental note oft revisited: Never shake hands with Lee. "We introduce the Leftovers simply as neighborhood characters, like they did with the three brothers on Newhart."
Harry tugged his earlobe. Getting warm, getting warm. The mere mention of Newhart, his idol, set Harry's heart a-pounding. "Larry, Darryl and Darryl."
Lee thought hard while closing his eyes and massaging his eyeballs."Three ex-mobster brothers who retire to the country to start a puppy mill. The Retardo brothers!"
Harry rubbed his stubble and cracked up. "That's hysterical. Johnny, Gino and Harvey Retardo...Harvey's named after the family lawyer. We turn Gypsy into a mob show."
"Been there, done that."
Harry cringed. No facial touchings, but a cliched expression or use of the word 'awesome' was worse.
"Awesome!" Harry said.
"What's so awesome about that?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to know how I'd feel saying the word, 'awesome'."
"How does it feel?"
"Awesome."
Lee groaned while mining a crusty tear from his eye.
"So bring in this Gomez guy and we'll figure things out. I know there's something to this idea. We make this show funny and...and..." Lee did a quick in-out, commando style nose pick-flick.
"Sick. We make it sick. Sick is edgy. Sick sells."
"Funny-sick, like crapping in your pants while waiting in line to pay at Wal-Mart," Lee said while scratching his ass.
"That actually happened to my Aunt Toby. She got caught in line behind one of those change-dumpers, y'know those fucking losers who pull out every coin in their purse just so they won't have to break a fiver. My aunt actually crapped in her pants while the lady in front of her fished out ninety-six cents of pennies and nickels."
"She should wear Depends when she goes to Wal-Mart like my mother." As Lee should've just last week when he crapped in his pants during a long red light on his way back to the office after lunch. Those all-you-can-eat buffets in Chinatown were dangerous.
"A total mess," Harry confirmed. "How about doing a Revenge of the Zombies spoof but we use fed up cashiers instead? They hunt down the change-dumpers."
"But what does that have to do with the dog?"
"I dunno, Gypsy runs around smelling their asses and eating treats, that's enough."
Lee keeled over in a fit of laughter holding his stomach. He was ten seconds away from crapping in his pants.
"Awesome!" Harry said.
"What's so awesome about that?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to know how I'd feel saying the word, 'awesome'."
"How does it feel?"
"Awesome."
Lee groaned while mining a crusty tear from his eye.
"So bring in this Gomez guy and we'll figure things out. I know there's something to this idea. We make this show funny and...and..." Lee did a quick in-out, commando style nose pick-flick.
"Sick. We make it sick. Sick is edgy. Sick sells."
"Funny-sick, like crapping in your pants while waiting in line to pay at Wal-Mart," Lee said while scratching his ass.
"That actually happened to my Aunt Toby. She got caught in line behind one of those change-dumpers, y'know those fucking losers who pull out every coin in their purse just so they won't have to break a fiver. My aunt actually crapped in her pants while the lady in front of her fished out ninety-six cents of pennies and nickels."
"She should wear Depends when she goes to Wal-Mart like my mother." As Lee should've just last week when he crapped in his pants during a long red light on his way back to the office after lunch. Those all-you-can-eat buffets in Chinatown were dangerous.
"A total mess," Harry confirmed. "How about doing a Revenge of the Zombies spoof but we use fed up cashiers instead? They hunt down the change-dumpers."
"But what does that have to do with the dog?"
"I dunno, Gypsy runs around smelling their asses and eating treats, that's enough."
Lee keeled over in a fit of laughter holding his stomach. He was ten seconds away from crapping in his pants.
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